In the land of limbo live the unloved….
Another day passes us by with some good intentions still clinging to the days menu. I’m a CD, and I’ve been this way for more then 20 years and straddled the line between gay and straight. For all those years I’ve been neither really. I can embrace a woman as I can a man. I feel no human differences between them; just the sweet smell of the other person s scent and the fragrant ‘s of the places they have passed through before arriving here. We are empty in our souls and connections despite all the available social media we have at our disposal. All worthless really as none of this really guides the affairs of the heart . What to do, with lost children. US! Where have we let slip the thread that if followed would lead us back home again. As a CD I fully have embraced the powers of the woman, her strength, her resolve and her duty are beacons from the shore for those non-adventurers, seeking solely safe passage to the other world. In the time allowed them, they have found purpose, contentedness, varying degrees of harmony but I, tortured by all this mass means of destructive insanity, sit alone in the ravenous cavernous of self destruction…and I in a voice so low that my breath barley registers, as it is so gripped with fear, remains mute. Then in that special reserved nano second, between creation and extinction, I hear the oceans of time wash upon us, delivering us from yet one more cosmic plight as I shudder nervously on the shores of extinction.
And then, up from despair, I stop, I breath, I resolve to be here tomorrow to meet the challenges of yet another day. I look at the faces of humanity, vibrant, alert, determined. I scan those seated, around me, their eyes unfocused, cloudy, drifting aimlessly and in this instant I see it all in a flash, the spark, the golden torch of the god Zeus cruising to earth from an immeasurable distance and speed through time and space and opening up the universe again to me to absorb these flights of fancy that man has advanced and redefine the miracle of flight. To soar not to flee.
Scanning the room, I seek out one face, two eyes, a soft smile, a whispered prayer, eyes locked again in desperate resolve, wisps of sun drenched hair framing that wondrous round face framed between two glowing cheeks that only speak of perfection. World’s disintegrated before me but our eyes were locked in a oneness and unity I had received yet only other time. Time paused, as it has a want to for lovers. The silence of complete surrender enveloped the two us as we dissolved transparently into one another. This so simple an act of richness and empowerment had altered our being, our consciousness, our lives, our future and the future lives of those who will come after us. Loneliness, a constant companion, skulked off towards the kitchen replaced by light, joy, celebration, a new life, a new world and love… the great game changer, the most sought after and coveted commodity in the universe had taken me home again. I am blessed as we both sat there transfixed by out meeting seemly so random yet so predicable. Words, voices, sounds, slowly faded into the ether mutated and unnoticed, return… for when love awakens in one the love of self, the love off another, the love of all things living and transmuted, then nothing in the universe can challenge the greatness nor the unanimity that the power of love can bestow on lovers.
As the days mark the passage of time by their endless march to eternity, my eyes always alert and alive scan the faces before me in the off chance that an event such as this would bless me yet again. One can dream, one can hope, and in the interim, one can surrender to the joy’s of life and living, that love would enter back in my life once again and the legends of loneliness that had shadowed my life would one day be lifted yet again and that she, the mother of us all, will ever so lightly and effortlessly merge back into our hearts to heal and restore our, faith, our hope our trust and our beliefs stilled pinned somewhere on a somewhat tainted sign post which reads…”Love conquers all….if you let it”